grandma

i’ve been super quiet lately.

i feel like this post is rather dramatic, but we’ve so been used to living a lifestyle of scrolling, liking, and hearting… that nobody takes the time to read anymore, and nobody really sees true emotion any longer.

with that being said…

my grandma isn’t doing fabulous.

she is 93 years old.

so my grandmother, has always been my ONLY grandmother. my mother’s parents died before she was even married, so we’ve only had my dads parents. my grandfather died about 20 years ago, and left a giant gaping wound in our family.

i remember as a child hearing the emergency sirens at night, and praying to the Lord… please don’t let it be my grandmother, please save her. even though she lives a solid 2.5 hours away from my house. 😉

grandma still lives in the same house she has lived in forever and ever. but now she has a wonderful 24/7 caretaker…. even so she still has the attitude of a 2 year old…. i do it myself.

when i found out that grandma was in the hospital with a pretty bad infection, i offered to drive my dad up to south bend to see what was happening. i’ve never seen my grandmother look so fragile. she isn’t able to speak a lot, and that frustrates her to no end. she is as sharp as a tack, and still gets around with the help of a walker. seeing her in a hospital bed, completely crushed me.

she was so scared too. she would cry every time my dad left the room. it was awful.

we went back up on thursday to transfer her from the hospital and to a rehab facility, where she will do physical therapy to regain her strength enough to go home.

i love my grandmother. i cannot even express to you the depth of my love for her. even typing this out, i have tears.

this is the newest professional image i have of myself and grandma. my husband actually took this one. i took images of the rest of the family unit, and all the other girls got pictures of themselves and grandma.

except me. 

my grandmother HATES being in pictures. she used to tell me….. you’ll break your camera if you take a photo of me!

she is beautiful. 

soon i know the Lord will take her. she’s had a wonderfully full, and long life.

and all i will have are the images to remember her by. much like she only has images of her husband, her sister, her parents, and her best friends. she has an album that she looks at every single day. the two days we went up, i spent time going through each image, and she would point out each person she could.

gone are the christmas eves at grandmas house with all the cousins. gone are the yearly beach trips with grandma. gone are the christmas cookies she would make each year, and give each child a little bit extra of their favorites in each bucket. gone are all the stray animals she used to feed on her back porch… at one time she had 7 stray cats and a one eyed raccoon mama. 

but i have a million images that my dad made sure to take when we were little. and i have many images of grandma holding the babies, playing with the kids, and walking on the beach.

but i wish i had one of just her and me. 

** back row: my sister, me                             2015

**front row: marcie, grandma, britney (marcie and britney are sisters, we are missing the sisters sarah and brooke. i am the youngest of the 6 granddaughters)